Love is one of the most remarkable, yet frightening feelings that a human being can ever experience. Love involves so many contradictions. It brings comfort, yet uneasiness. It makes you decisive but hesitant at the same time.
Love is amazing, yet terribly frightening. What makes love so scary?
In order to love, a person must open up to another human being. Becoming exposed in this way can scare even the most cold-blooded person. Once someone becomes emotionally exposed, pain and suffering can occur.
Love makes one human being entirely dependent on another. All these complex aspects are responsible for turning love into a scary experience.
These are the main reasons that make people so afraid of love.
Fear of Being Hurt
Though falling in love is wonderful, we all fear the consequences. Often, love results in pain and suffering.
Most people are afraid of being hurt right from the start of a new relationship. As the dynamics between the partners evolve, this fear remains.
Giving someone access to your hopes, emotions, fears and goals is a really intimate process. That person immediately gains power. And though the process takes place in two directions, you will often feel uncertain and emotionally naked.
Fear of Betrayal
Many people are afraid of betrayal. We are all intrinsically suspicious of a partner. Some people experience this emotion strongly and can become overly possessive and jealous.
Everyone fears infidelity or another form of betrayal. Infidelity hurts. Even if a person is able to forgive, the relationship will never be the same after a case of infidelity.
Love involves blind trust. This fact can eventually lead to severe pain, if a partner fails living up to expectations and fulfilling promises given in the beginning of a relationship.
Making a Mistake?
Even if feelings are strong, people will always fear making a mistake.
We all ask ourselves many questions, while we are falling in love. The most important uncertainties focus on the fact that we could be making a mistake.
Is this person really someone deserving all the love you are capable of delivering? Is he or she the love of your life, your soul mate? Could you be simply wasting your time, while your better half is still somewhere out there?
Lack of Confidence
Have you ever believed that you do not deserve your partner?
Many people fear love due to low confidence. They consider themselves unworthy of receiving affection from such a wonderful individual.
To love somebody else, you must learn to love yourself first. You are a beautiful human being and you deserve all positive emotions on earth. The fact that someone has decided to be with you, signifies that you are loved and appreciated. Forget about uncertainties and enjoy this breath-taking emotion.
The Broken Heart Factor
Let us face it, we have all experienced relationship fiascos. Most people have had their heart broken during a certain life stage.
The fear of having your heart broken again will make you fear love itself. This unwillingness to accept pain will often stop you from experiencing love’s full potential.
Past mistakes will continue haunting and affecting you throughout life. They often make people fearful and skeptical in the beginning of a new relationship.
Love involves trust. It involves letting go, forgetting about past mistakes and giving a new person a chance. Love is scary but the wonderful moments that it brings make every difficulty worth it. Most of us are afraid of love, yet craving it intensely. Once we manage to overcome this initial fear, we are certain to experience the bliss of having someone to love and share a life with.
The Importance of Self-Reflection
Many of us fear love for all the reasons mentioned above and then some more. Being vulnerable, open and fully invested in someone who may or may not respond is truly terrifying.
Finding real love does involve trial and error. The process, however, doesn’t have to be scary or traumatizing.
Having realistic expectations, knowing how to set boundaries and spot red flags right off the bat are all important to make dating experiences productive and pleasant.
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