When we come to think about it, no person steps into marriage or a serious relationship with the intention to cheat. Well, a few probably do but other interests are involved in such cases. So, why do men cheat on their girlfriends and wives?
Cheating stems from a need. The need can be either physical or emotional but cheating comes to the spotlight whenever a person is missing something. It may substitute for the lack of attention, intimacy or novelty in one’s love life.
Each person has specific needs and the reasons often differ when we talk about men and women. It is commonly accepted that cheating in women is an emotional act, while men need to satisfy the “hunter” inside.
The Need for Something New
Relationships evolve over time. The first few months are full of excitement and the thrills of learning more about each other. Intimacy is at its peak and partners never fail to surprise each other.
As this initial thrill settles, a relationship becomes worldlier. Partners know each other well and are rarely surprised. Excitement wears off, often replaced by daily routine and household problems.
Time passes and partners suddenly realize that they miss the initial thrill, the excitement of that first kiss, the passion and tenderness accompanying the initial stages of a relationship. A person missing that novelty might be tempted into cheating. In this case, an affair satisfies the need for excitement and novelty.
Partners No Longer Communicate
As marriage evolves, partners might slowly drift apart. Initially, they enjoyed sharing tiny details about the day at the office, the beautiful new pair of shoes in the store or the wonderful lunch with friends at the restaurant.
Getting to know each other too well may change this communication. Partners understand each other without saying a thing.
Being busy with work or children may also deprive partners of the precious moments they previously used to talk to each other.
Both men and women miss the emotional bond that communication with a partner brings. In a successful marriage or relationship, the partners should be both lovers and friends. When these friends lack the time to talk to each other, they start experiencing emotional hunger.
Someone new can quickly satisfy that hunger. In such instances, an affair often begins in the form of a friendship. This friendship grows and soon feelings might interfere. Before one knows it, the desire for emotional release has turned into an affair.
The Initial Excitement about Sex
Sex in the initial stages of a relationship is mesmerizing. Partners do their best to satisfy each other, to explore desires and make fantasies come true.
Sexuality is an important driving force. It is often the reason behind even the most irrational decision. Sex with a single partner over a long period of time is something that a number of people have difficulties coping with.
Partners that have been in a relationship or a marriage over a long period of time know each other’s needs, sexual desires and fantasies. Soon, they might lack the time to surprise each other and organize romantic candlelit nights. Sex turns into a routine.
Sexual routine gives birth to a desire – the desire to try something new, exciting, sexy and wild.
A sexual affair can remain purely such. It can sometimes evolve in love. People believe that mostly men start such purely sexual affairs but the need for excitement and novelty is common for both genders. This is probably the most clichéd reason behind an affair but it remains valid till present time.
Problems between partners start when the two have difficulties discussing problems and finding a solution.
The passage of time, children, household tasks and work often leave partners without the option to discuss and work out a problem. And a problem that remains unspoken about aggravates until one of the two can no longer take it.
Quarrels and fights, if appearing on a constant basis, are among the prerequisites for the search of intimacy and emotional bonding outside a relationship. Partners start believing that they will no longer find understanding and comfort from each other. They begin looking for the missing emotions elsewhere.
Whatever the reason, the lack of communication simply acts to aggravate the situation. If a partner is becoming distant refrain from keeping silence and hoping that things will fix themselves. The refusal to talk can do little to stir a relationship in the right direction.
Whether it is a sexual problem or miscommunication, keep yourself open. Try to understand the signs that a partner is sending, even if these are non-verbal. If the distance between the two of you is growing, chances are that you will soon be miles apart. Act before that happens, otherwise you’ll find yourself sitting at home and wondering about why do men cheat on their girlfriends and wives.