Getting your mother-in-law to like you could be a difficult, sometimes even impossible to accomplish task. Some women experience no such problems and befriend their mothers-in-law immediately.
If you fail belonging to the lucky group, you are probably having difficulties coping with the temper and attitude of your mother-in-law. You’re wondering about how to get along with your mother-in-law so that everyone in the family is happy. The truth of the matter is that conscious effort will be required on behalf of all parties involved.
You need to understand several facts about your mother-in-law, if you are willing to get her to like you. Base your behavior on these tips.
How to Get Along with Your Mother-in-Law: Some Some Understanding
Try to understand your mother-in-law’s motivation. She is a mother. She wants the best for her son. If you know the cause of the problem, you’ll get to address it adequately.
Some mothers are too selective when it comes to the friends, girlfriends and eventually spouses of their sons. No woman is ever good enough, nobody manages to meet their high standards.
Understand the fact that she wants her son to be happy. Show her that she can trust you and that you will do your best to care for your husband. Demonstrate that your love is genuine and that no alternative motivation stands behind your wish to marry him.
The Generation Gap Is a Real Thing
Sometimes communication across generations could be difficult. Probably your own mom fails understanding you occasionally. The same will apply to your mother-in-law.
Your mother-in-law belongs to another generation. The values and norms of her youth differ significantly from the ones valid today. You could be behaving in a way that she accepts as inappropriate.
Understand that two people belonging to different generations will often have arguments. Do your best to learn more about her, about her worldview and morality. Give her a small gift, pay attention to her needs and learn how to disagree gracefully. If you’re putting the effort in the process, she will eventually warm up to you.
Talk to Her and Listen
If you have problems with your mother-in-law, select a direct conversation as the best way to address the issue.
Be honest. Tell her that you want to be friends and that some clarifications will be needed. Try to find out what annoys her and which characteristics and habits that you have anger her.
Direct communication is the only way to achieve clarity on controversial issues. Though you might feel uneasy about this conversation, you have to take the initiative in your hands.
Offer a Helping Hand
Your mother-in-law could feel threatened. Previously, she was the most important woman in her son’s life. Now she has to share his love with you.
Show her that you are not competing. Offer her a helping hand. Ask your husband to spend more time with her. All these steps will help reduce her jealousy.
Be there for her. She might feel insecure or lonely. Show her that you are willing to offer your friendship, if she wants to accept you in this role.
Sometimes, even your best intentions will be insufficient to get your mother-in-law to like you. Refrain from getting in an argument. Be polite and distanced and try to limit communication with her. Talk to your husband about the problem and get him involved. Do your best to show her that you want to be friends. It will be up to her then to decide whether to bury the hatchet.
Learning how to get along with your mother-in-law can be a continuous process. Don’t stress about it and don’t worry about a timeframe. If you’re good intentioned and you’ve done everything in your power, you will feel much better about the family situation. Lay the cards on the table and maintain your composure. Even when this seems difficult to do, the outcome will justify all of your efforts.