Often, jealousy and fears coming from past relationships make people question the motivation and the behavior of the person with whom they are currently in a relationship.
Some stereotypes link certain types of behavior with infidelity. Very often, the case is not quite such. The fact that your partner works overtime does not signify that he is having an affair with his secretary.
Personal insecurities often force people to see problems where none exist. What happens when the obvious signs of cheating signify something else? How do we cope with insecurity and jealousy in a relationship? What if the stereotypes prove to be wrong? How do you tell the difference between a busy schedule and obvious betrayal?
When do the signs of cheating mean that someone is actually not?
Learn to ‘See’ Your Partner
The obvious signs of a betrayal are almost certainly accompanied by a change of behavior. Refrain from blaming your partner before you have understood what is really going on.
If overtime work is simply an excuse for the time spent out of home, your partner is likely to grow distanced and emotionally detached. Each individual can sense this change of attitude in a loved one.
Learn to look beyond the obvious. You need to be able to ‘see’ your partner. If your loved one seems detached, isolated and unwilling to communicate, you probably have a reason to worry. Remember that these emotional changes do not necessarily signify infidelity. They can often be related to everyday problems.
To be able to know what is going on, you need to be able to sense the truth. Trust your intuition and get to know your partner better. This is the only way to determine what is going on for certain.
Refrain from Accusing
All of the signs and emotional changes tell you that your partner has been unfaithful. Before you take a major, life-changing decision, confront your partner and talk about the aspects of your relationship that worry you.
Direct, honest communication is the only way to know whether your relationship is still the same. Hearing the truth can be painful but is always better than living in delusion.
Before you decide on the guilt of your partner, have an honest talk. Share what is troubling you. If you rush in conclusions, you risk losing everything the two of you have already created.
What if You have Already Blamed Your Partner Wrongly?
You have already rushed into blaming your partner. Your accusations and lack of trust have led to serious relationship problems. Your loved one is hurt and insulted. How do you deal with the situation you have created?
If you quickly pointed your finger at the one you share your life with, you have several options to make things better.
Discuss your fears with your partner. The two of you should be aware of past relationship mistakes and the aspects of these that left a scar. Let your partner know that you have difficulty trusting someone, after you have already been betrayed.
Set clear rules. Let your partner know what you are willing to tolerate.
Apologize sincerely. Sit down and discuss whether the thing you have going on has the potential to really work. Pinpoint problems and if necessary – see a professional therapist. Dealing with trust issues is essential if you want to have healthy, functioning relationship.
Sometimes, the obvious may have a rather odd explanation. Before accusing your partner of infidelity, take the time to talk and find out if something is really going on. If you come to conclusions too fast, you risk losing the wonderful love you have. Learn how to talk and how to trust. Then you will be able to effortlessly find what is happening in the life of the one that you love.