As impartial observers, we often know that our friends are involved in a bad relationship. Being impartial makes us wonder – why do people try to make things work with a partner who is inappropriate or abusive?
People can have many valid reasons for staying in a bad relationship. Fear and a sense of guilt can affect the manner in which they perceive the situation. Often, staying in a bad relationship appears to be the lesser evil. Looking for a new love could be much scarier.
What makes people stay in a bad relationship? Is their behavior simply foolish or are the roots of the problem deeper than what shows on the surface?
Fear of being Alone
The fear of being alone is the most powerful driving force behind the decision to stay in a bad relationship.
Many people prefer being with an inappropriate partner than being all alone. Loneliness is scary. It signifies no shoulder to cry on and nobody to stand next to you during the most difficult and challenging periods.
When thinking about putting an end to a relationship, many people wonder whether they will be able to discover love ever again. The prospect of never experiencing the same feeling with another person is scary. This fear forces so many individuals stay within a bad relationship, even if they know it is inappropriate.
The Devil You Know
Sometimes, people are forced to choose between the devil they know and the unknown threats. A bad relationship is something familiar and bearable. The unknown can be terrifying.
People are afraid of most aspects of life they are unfamiliar with. Learning how to drive, getting a new job or changing a relationship are all related to taking a leap into the sphere of the unknown.
A bad relationship is something that people are familiar and somehow comfortable with. It might be wrong but at least it resembles an outfit you are used to wearing. Selecting a new outfit can often end in a fashion disaster. The same applies to looking for love again.
Even if deep inside people know that they are in a bad relationship, they can delude themselves in believing that everything is fine.
The human mind is tuned in such ways that it often rejects failures. People perceive reality in a way that makes them feel satisfied and comfortable. They reject the obvious truth and try to look at the world through pink eyeshades.
Self-delusion is the most dangerous aspect of a bad relationship. It hides the truth and forces people to suffer a failure they can easily put an end to.
Habits Die Hard
Some habits are difficult to root out. Being part of a bad relationship is one such habit.
Habits set in especially if two people have spent many years together. Once the habit manages to establish itself well, a person will be facing the challenge of trying to root it out.
Escaping from a life that has become routine is often an impossible task. People get used to specific rituals and practices. A failure to fulfill any of these can lead to confusion and disappointment. A habit is very powerful driving force. Strong will is needed to overcome its effects.
A sense of guilt can also force a person to stay in a bad relationship.
Most people think about the reaction of a loved one, if the end comes. How will a partner accept it? Will it be painful? Will it lead to disappointment?
The sense of guilt related to braking bad news to a partner is often more powerful than reason and rational thinking. Even if you know what is best for you, you could remain indecisive because of the expected reaction from your formerly loved one.